I was asked to make a list of the things that I love. I was given a week to make my list. My list at first started off with my child, my family and my pets. Those were the easy things to list that I love. I love my friends who have supported me and continue to stay in contact with me through my journey of sobriety.
Then I sat down and thought about the all the other things I love. My house because it given me shelter. A job because it allows me to pay my bills. Food so that don’t go hungry. My car that allows me to get to work. All the basic needs that I need from day to day.
As the days went on my list grew. I thought of my health. What were the things that I love that helped me stay healthy. I love that I have a gym close by to work out. I love that I’m losing weight and getting healthier. I love the advancement in medication that helps keep my blood pressure in check and my cholesterol low.
My list grew and grew of all the things I love. I love I have shoes. I love I woke up today. I love I get to be grateful. I love I found a higher power. I love I get to travel. I love I found sobriety.
I sat down with my list. I handed it to my sponsor and she read it. She looked at me and said “you forgot one important item.” I wanted to say are you crazy. I worked on this list for a week. I carried it with me and thought of it daily. I reflected every night before I went to bed. What could I have possibly missed?
“When are you going to love yourself?” I didn’t write down that I loved myself. I had spent almost 4 decades hating myself. Always trying hard to please everyone. I had hated myself for becoming an alcoholic and wrecking so many lives. Did I truly love myself?
So now I have to make a list of the things that I love about myself. This is way harder than finding the things I love. We shall see how this goes.